5 Fictional Foods To Feed Your Victory in THE HUNGER GAMES

5 Fictional Foods To Win HUNGER GAMES


In Susan Collins' young adult novel The Hunger Games (now a record-setting major motion picture with its $155 million weekend), Katniss Everdeen is forced to fight in a combination gladiatorial sacrifice/reality TV show in the future nation of Panem, but what if instead it was you?

Let's say The Reaping, the process of choosing the game's participants, doesn't go well. You and your families' selfish desire to not die of starvation has forced you to wager your fate in exchange for the dietary equivalent of that compact spare tire that most people would rather pay for a tow truck than actually use, and now your number is up. A tyrannical dystopian government has selected you to fight for your life for the sins of your fathers and the amusement of your “betters.”

But you have a plan. If you put on a good enough show for the decedent wastrels of the Capitol they will buy you gifts to nominally improve your odds of survival. These gifts can come in the form of food or weapons, but being the pop-culture savvy Tribute that you are, you've come up with a way to kill two singing mutant birds with one stone: Foods that grant superhuman powers!

So here, with our apologies to Spinach and Gingold, is a menu of fictional foodstuffs that can sate your hunger and at the same time your legally mandated, self-preservation inspired bloodlust as well.



Source: Dune (1965)

Bestows: Extends life, bestows clairvoyance, enhances mental focus and in large doses: telekinesis and teleportation.

Melange, also known simply as The Spice, is the most valuable substance in the far distant future of Frank Herbert's Dune novels. Not only is it valued in the higher echelons of power for its ability to extend life, it is the sole means of bridging the great gulfs of space between worlds by giving its user the power to fold space, thereby allowing galactic civilization to be possible.

In the context of the Hunger Games, its more practical applications could be very useful. Aside from its beneficial medicinal properties, having a clear and focused mind is a potent asset when hunting or being hunted in any setting. With Melange you could pick up on any of a thousand details that could give away your foe's position and if you take enough of it, the blue-on-blue eyes it gives you can be very intimidating as long as you can stop taking it before you transform into a giant fetal-fish creature.


Super Mushroom

Source: Super Mario Bros. (1985)

Bestows: Increase of size, strength. Damage resistance.

Super Mushroom are a common sight in the Mushroom Kingdom, the setting of most of the seminal Mario gaming franchise. When uncovered and ingested, Mario is transformed into a giant twice his size and gains the ability to smash stone blocks with his bare hands. Most remarkably, it bestowes upon him the ability to trade this new found power in order to negate a blow that would otherwise prove fatal.

Unless you have the confidence to be able to rush down and literally stomp your enemies to death on the floor of the Hunger Games, the size change bestowed upon consuming a Super Mushroom might be a liability instead, but the extra strength can't dismissed so easily. Neither can being able to shrug off a fatal blow, very useful in a hostile environment filled with thrown knives, spears and bee hives.


Skrull-Cow Meat

Source: Skrull Kill Crew (1995)

Bestows: Shape-shifting

In a (USDA) Prime example of the Law of Unintended Consequences; when a small group of Skrulls, members of a race of shape-shifting aliens were defeated by the Fantastic Four, they were hypnotized into taking the shape of cows and left to think that they actually were cows. Unfortunately they ultimately met their end as the featured ingredient in a Combo Meal. Those who ordered and ate those #1s became tainted by the alien DNA. It gave them Skrull shape-shifting ability, but also making them mentally unstable.

Disguising yourself as a tree, a rock or even an ally would be extraordinarily useful during the Hunger Games, but that's just basic level shape-shifter thinking. One could use it as camouflage, but why not instead transform yourself into an incredibly dangerous construct that is limited in its lethality only by your imagination and a lifetime of watching SyFy Channel Original movies? Mansquito could only be a starting point!


Felix Felicis

Source: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2005)

Bestows: Extraordinary luck

Rare and difficult to make, the luck potion Felix Felicis gives its imbiber the ability, confidence and timing to perform feats that would be impossible, or at least very unlikely while not under its effects. The young wizard Harry Potter used a small portion of a full day's dose to solve a number of tricky social and plot critical problems within a short period of time, setting the stage for the defeat of the Dark Lord Voldemort.

"May the odds be ever in your favor!" is the common, overly formal way of wishing a citizen of Panem good luck, but with a dose of Felix Felicis you won't need any of the well-wishes given by disingenuous District Escorts. Beyond the help that having 23 landmines detonate prematurely would give, being lucky out on the floor of the arena could draw you to the best kit of equipment when fleeing the cornucopia, let you dodge fatal attacks or find yourself allied with craftier tributes and a nascent rebellion.


Scooby Snacks

Source: Scooby-Doo (1969)

Bestows: Courage

Have a Great Dane and it's human in your retinue of globe-trotting mystery solvers and they won't get out from under a blanket to help you search an abandoned amusement park in the middle of the night? Simple. Just shake a box of Scooby Snacks Pavlov-style in front of them and they are off on another comical misadventure. Not only does the promise of a few old cookies inspire them to action, it seems to work over and over again, for decades and without fail.

Now lets say that all your planning and training isn't working out for you in this year's Hunger Games. You are injured and holed up in a cave while young people bred and trained from birth for sociopathy track you down to finish you off. That's the time you need some Scooby Snacks! A quick bite and you can set in motion a lighthearted chase sequence set to intimation pop music, ultimately ending up with your foe helpless in front of you, caught in an elaborate trap you didn't seem to have time to set up. A quick beheading in place of the traditional unmasking and you can make it home in time for Community.

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