Damn Dirty Comics #5: GREEN LANTERN, STAR WARS, More

Damn Dirty Comics #5: GREEN LANTERN

OK, so this hasn't been the most regular of our columns. We could give you all sorts of wonderful reasons. Most of them, like the fact that we single-handedly fought off an alien invasion while blindfolded and sedated, would be completely made up. Instead, let's get to the light-hearted and sometimes comical recaps of recent comic books, and pray that Damn Dirty Comics becomes a regular thing again soon.


Green Lantern #62:  This issue was positively Busiekesque in its Kronaness.  Apart from that, the most significant thing to note is Hal’s total confusion at the end.  Batman was clearly Dick.  He was wearing Dick’s costume (black bat, no oval), as clearly delineated in the thirty weekly Batman titles.  If Batman was Dick, why did Hal call Dick Bruce?  If you call Bruce Dick, does he say, “I’m Bruce, dick”.  We all know that Hal is a dick, but Dick is not Bruce and Bruce is not Dick, though Bruce can on occasion be a dick.  Dick is not necessarily a dick, though Dick has frequently been a dog.  If you call Dick Bruce, does he think that you yourself are a dick, which you probably are since you used to call your sidekick “Pieface” (which we all think is worse than dick).

Angelus Vol 1 TPB: We'll admit as often as anyone that we do a fair amount of our comic book reading in the bathroom or in bed. This is not one we'll admit to reading either place, though, as that will offer up lines of questioning we really don't want to happen. In a book with crazy action, a bunch of angels decapitating each other, a guest spot by Jackie "The Darkness" Estacado, and even the major official introduction of one of the all-important Top Cow "Artifacts," there is one thing everyone that reads this will take away. Sejic can sure draw him some intimate moments, pretty ladies, and bad-ass warriors getting their heads chopped off. This is definitely a must-read for anyone digging the big Artifacts crossover, as it details the full establishment of the current Angelus host, as well as the betrayal by one of her warriors, who now wields the hellish Wheel of Shadows.

Age of X: What is more terrifying?  A multi-book event based almost entirely on alternate world minutiae, or that we’ve read so many X-books in our lives that we actually understood what was going on?


Avengers #10: Let’s face it:  there should just be more books with the Hulk (any Hulk) fighting underwater.  Green Lantern related revelation: Tony is also a dick.  Not that that’s a big shock or anything.  What’s shocking is that he has no idea that New Mexico and Nevada are two different states.  If you’re going to be smug about buying UFO conspiracy sites, you should at least know where they are. (See how hard we worked to avoid making the “maybe he was drunk at the time” joke?  We’ve grown.)

Star Wars: The Old Republic - Blood of the Empire: Teneb Kel, this story's protagonist, is many things. He is an aspiring Dark Lord of the Sith. He is a ruthless killer. He is, at most times in this story, a bad-ass fighter with his dual-bladed light saber. He is also a whiny, entitled brat. So, basically showing that Anakin Skywalker wasn't the first one in the galaxy far, far away with those traits. This is the classic dark side anti-hero, but this is also definitely a bad, bad man. He nearly strikes down his old master, hunts down someone he admires, murders a Jedi Padawan in cold blood, and even murders the closest thing he has to a friend, all in his journey to become Darth Thanaton. Suffice to say Teneb Kel's story may have begun and ended in this book, but it looks like Thanaton will be around for more evil-doing.

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