DAMN DIRTY ZOMBIES 18: "Destiny Awaits"

DC First Look - BLACKEST NIGHT #7 Covers

We're back with a ton of fresh recaps for you, folks. It's Damn Dirty Zombies time!

BEWARE, THAR BE SPOILERS HERE! This is a summary or recap column. By it's nature, that means these will be spoiler-filled summaries of the stories found in these comics. These are not reviews, these are spoilers through-and through. Spoilers. Also, there are spoilers from this point on.

Secret Six #18: “He’s the flying fetus of doom!” Ya know, all these tie-ins are 100% worth it when you get a line like that out of them. While the Six and the Squad throw down at Belle Reve, they get overwhelmed easily by the Black Lanterns. The combined teams teleport back to the Secret Six “House of Secrets” only to have the BLs follow them. Nothing revolutionary for the crossover as a whole, Amanda Waller brings in an old Manhunter robot, blowing it up along with its core of green energy and some white flashbangs, wiping out the Black Lanterns in the area. The bigger point for Secret Six fans saw Waller officially revealed as “Mockingbird,” their secret mission-giver.

Black Lantern Green Arrow #30:  Have you ever wanted to see a book about a family of archers that shoot the “father” so full of arrows that he looks like a cross between Finale Xena and Toshiro Mifune in Throne of Blood prior to said “father” shooting the “mother” through the shoulder with an arrow himself, all of that happening relative to the “son” and “daughter” being party to gouging the “father’s” eye out?  M’man, THIS is the book for you!

Blackest Night: JSA #3: Just what we need: a recap of Superman’s Origin. I mean, clearly, at this stage in the game, you’re picking up a book called “Blackest Night: JSA” as your very first comic book ever, and need an elaborate 3-page retelling of Superman of Earth 2’s origin. This is the second time he’s risen, too, so apparently they need a fresh download everytime. Anyway, BLKal-L kicks some JSA butt, pummeling the whole team while Mr. Terrific tries to build his Black Lantern bomb, which while still a little deus ex machina, has one of the best explanations of the tie-ins of how it would take out the zombies. It all eventually comes down to Kal-L vs. his pseudo-adopted-daughter-who-is-actually-her-cousin-who-due-to-a-typo-called-him-uncle-in-the-last-issue Power Girl, who holds him still just long enough for Michael to set off the big kablooey, destroying every Black Lantern in New York City.

Blackest Night: The Flash #3: The Rogues, much like Jean Reno’s The Professional, do not kill women or kids.  That bodes ill for Boomer Jr. by issue’s end.  It turns out that BJ is a big enabler, and has been more or less feeding victims to Black Lantern Captain Boomerang One because he believes that it’s the thing that will save his dad.  Obviously, BJ has never, ever, watched any zombie movie ever, otherwise he might have realized that this is what the other Rogues might refer to as “a scam”.  Nevertheless, as Flashes and Rogues battle BLs around the city, Boomer Jr. has been pushing people to their chewy destiny.  When the Rogues find out, they are PISSED, and Captain Cold kicks BJ into his dad’s pit.  One BL fist/Razorang combo punch later, and BJ joins the body count.  The Rogues, being the Rogues, have other shit to do, and they split.

Adventure Comics #7: A simple tale of a boy, a girl, and a dog:  Conner’s a Black Lantern!  Conner is mean to Cassie.  Cassie is sad. Conner thinks nasty thoughts about Kara.  Cassie is pissed.  Krypto helps!  Conner is freed from being a Black Lantern!  Good boy, Krypto.

Green Lantern Corps #45:  I’m vaguely disappointed that no one has had to be forcibly withdrawn from being a Star Sapphire, as it would be a perfect opportunity to quote The Cult’s “Love Removal Machine”.  Nevertheless, we soldier on with this tale of Guy’s friends trying to get him out from under being a lantern of rage (which, as you know, is different than being a carton of hate or a wedge of spite).

You have to admit that it’s pretty awesome to have a planet on your side.  Mogo’s been invaluable in multi-corps clashes, and he’s on hand to detox Guy.  Previously, we wondered about Guy’s important relative to early mentions about his War of Light significance in Booster Gold.  Turns out that by Blackest Night #7 (more in a minute), he’s the, er, Guy leading the combined Corps to Earth.

So, to recap: Guy was having trouble with his direction, upside-down, psychotic reaction.  I’ll be damned!  I still made it work.  Bless you, Ian Astbury and Billy Duffy.

Green Lantern #51: Oh Lex Luthor, your love for Superman is truer than all the great romances. Romeo’s got nothing on you, Lexy. “HE WILL BE MINE!” says the greedy greedy man, as he continues to fight over the Orange of Avarice with Larfleeze. The rest of the New Guardians and their Deputy Lanterns take out various Black Lanterns one at a time while Parallax Hal Jordan takes on The Spectre in his big Black Lantern form. It’s an interesting take, as Parallax actually uses reverse psychology and taunts the real Spectre to get him to come out. The fight renews, as Atrocitus sees the Spectre as a being of pure rage and tries to take him for his own corps. Spectre rejects the red, and warns Atrocitus that the rage entity is not one he wants to find. Parallax is pulled from Hal by Spectre and Carol, then evaporates away, with Hector Hammond noting “It Has Parallax.” Well, SOME stories have to be left to tell after Blackest Night, right? Spectre tries to take down Nekron, but the agent of Death being a soulless bugger, he can’t be judged, and snaps him away.

Blackest Night #7: Well you certainly can’t say nothing happens in this bad boy. And yes, to be perfectly clear, Blue Lantern Flash is calling all the readers wankers on the cover.

The big one here starts with Nekron having a blood sacrifice of some Guardians. The New Guardians and their Deputies (didn’t we just talk about them?) all direct their beams upon Nekron, to no avail. Black Hand fights his old foes Atrocitus (full circle! Johns forgets NOTHING!) and Hal, when Lex, surprise surprise, goes crazy, losing himself to the greed of his ring, and tries to take everyone else’s.

In Earth’s Orbit, things look bad for John Stewart, with a whole heck of a lot of Black Lanterns knocking on Earth’s door. Thankfully, Guy (remember, we told you this was coming) shows up with nearly every lantern from every corps in his wake. I will now name every character in this spread. There, I said it out loud. Hope you heard.

Hey look, it’s the War of Light! All the corps are fighting each other! There, now people can’t say the War of Light never seemed to happen. Their respective leaders broadcast a similar message to all of their rings to get them to team-up, and we zap back to Earth.

Dawn the current Dove is taking a stroll, destroying Black Lanterns, when she feels a connection to something trapped in the Black Power Battery. More on that in a bit.

Black Hand continues his campaign for creepiest creep that ever creeped by tearing the guts out of a Guardian (wait… guardian guts actually glow with the entire emotional spectrum?) while saying “Shhh. Don’t fight it. That’s it. Let it come naturally.” With this sacrifice, Nekron and Black Hand declare “Trespasser, RISE” and we see the purity of the White Light Entity. Nekron begins to attack it, sending pain through every living thing in the universe.

Why does this Entity, which seemed to rise from Earth, have such sway over all of life? Well, Life began on earth, of course.

Hal steps up to jump into the Entity and merge with it, but Sinestro stops him. Once the powerful Green Ranger, he comes back more powerful in a white uniform as the enigmatic White Ranger, destined to save them all… oh, whoops. Thaal Sinestro of Korugar hears the call of the White, and is told “Destiny Awaits.” The first White Lantern is born, and we’re told to beware his power.

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