Newsarama has interviewed such Cartoon Network legends as Lumpy Space Princess, Muscle Man and Hi-Five Ghost, and even the stars of Steven Universe, but now Newsarama’s conversing with the Network’s newest stars – the three ursine adventurers of We Bare Bears.
…well, “adventurers” might be overstating it. Brothers Grizzly, Panda and Ice Bear are more about hanging out, trying to get famous, and of course, hanging with humans, usually in their piled-up “bear stack.” And things tend to get…chaotic when they’re around. That’s why we knew we had to tread lightly in this exclusive one-on-one…er, three…interview (with some help from the writers of We Bare Bears).
We discovered all manner of strange and terrifying secrets about the bears and their new show. Your heart may not be able to stand these shocking facts. Be warned.
Newsarama: So, bears, how does it feel to have your own show on Cartoon Network?
Grizz: It feels incredible! My brothers and I have always wanted to be on TV. We were on TV once before but that was when that news lady asked us if we had any thoughts on the drought.
Panda: Wait, what? I don’t remember that!
Grizz: You got super nervous and ran away.
Panda: Oh, now I remember.
Ice Bear: Ice Bear would like to deny any connection to the cause of the drought.
Nrama: What do you like about humans?
Grizz: We’re definitely fans of people food. I’m talkin’ hamburgers, mac and cheese pizza, bacon-wrapped hot dogs, onion-flavored chips, chip-flavored onions, peanut butter smoothies--
Panda: Actually, I have a peanut allergy.
Grizz: Yeah I know Pan-Pan, but this is a peanut butter smoothie.
Ice Bear: Ice Bear admires the human spirit. Mostly in ghost form.
Nrama: Your trademark is the "Bear Stack." How did you decide on that - i.e., who gets to be on top, middle and bottom?
Grizz: I’m on the top because I’m the oldest. Gotta be the leader, y’know? Like the captain of the ship!
Panda: So if you’re the captain, what am I? I’m the middle brother so I guess I’m like… the oars.
Grizz: Don’t sell yourself short Panda! You’re the core of the stack. You’re like the rudders. Or the sails? I don’t know what kind of boat we are.
Ice Bear: Ice Bear is the boat.
Nrama: Which bears throughout history would you say are your greatest role models?
Grizz: My greatest role models are Auguste and Louis Lumiere, inventors of the cinematograph. They were brothers too! And innovators in the field of moving pictures!
Panda: Grizz, I don’t think they were Bears.
Grizz: There’s no way of knowing for sure Panda. There are no photos of the Lumiere brothers.
It was the 1800’s after all.
Panda: You sure? You just said they invented the cinemato—
Grizz: The Lumiere Brothers were great bears!
Ice Bear: Ice Bear is his own role model.
Nrama: Where do you see yourselves in five years?
Panda: I see myself out in the country with my future-wife. We live in a cobblestone cottage next to a little creek. She tends to the garden during the day and I’m in the sunroom working on my watercolors. Also we run a bed & breakfast.
Grizz: Whoa, that’s awesome! How about us?!
Grizz: Dibs on being the butler! Can I be the butler, Panda?
Ice Bear: Ice Bear will be first footman.
Panda: Sigh… Yeah, you guys work there too. As butlers.
Grizz: Yes! We should plan for a bunk bed in our room. Which room will your wife sleep in?
Nrama: What can you tell us about your upcoming adventures?
Grizz: We can tell you everything!
Panda: Grizz! We can’t give them spoilers!
Grizz: Oh right. We should let them find out on their own.
Panda: Yeah but when they find out they’re going to flip. We get into a lot of hijinks.
Ice Bear: Ice Bear will give scoop after the interview. Everything Ice Bear says is off record.
Nrama: What's the most important thing people should know about your new show?
Grizz: People should know not to be afraid. We may be big bears but we’re just like you! We hang out. We go to movies.
Panda: I have a phone!
Ice Bear: Ice Bear enjoys the works of Michael Chabon.
Grizz: See?! We’re like everyone else. Except we’re covered in fur.
Panda: And we live in a cave.
Ice Bear: Ice Bear sleeps in the fridge.
Nrama: Anything else you'd like to talk about that we haven't discussed yet?
Grizz: Can we talk more about the Lumiere Brothers?!
Panda: Maybe we shouldn’t.
Grizz: Cool. Then I think we’re good.
Ice Bear: Ice Bear would like to once again deny any involvement in causing the drought.