Hey, That's My Cape! - Superheroes' Santa Wishlists
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth? All I want for Christmas is you? All I want for Christmas is a hippopotamus?? No thanks, I’m not wishing for any of those this year. Hopefully Santa will bring me a few items I asked for and maybe even a couple surprises but I got to thinking the other day, what do superheroes have on their lists this year? Here’s a few things our favorite characters told us they're asking for most of all this holiday season. Surprisingly, World Peace wasn’t on anyone’s list...
Superman’s been busy the last year, what with being in the New Krypton military and then watching the entire planet get destroyed. Nice job Kal. And don’t forget taking a trip through time to help find Bruce. So what Superman wants most this Christmas is gel innersoles. Because walking across America in those red boots hurts even the Man of Steel. He’d also like a new digital recorder thank you very much. And Lois Lane wants just one thing this year – her own series.
Captain America would like a “Hello my name is...” sticker.
All Batman wants for Christmas is a vacation. Like, a real vacation, not traveling all over the world recruiting new Batmen. Poor Bruce hasn’t had a chance to breathe since before "R.I.P." Well, not that Batman ever really has a chance to breathe but this year he really deserves it. Jumping through time takes a toll. Trust me, I know, I watch Doctor Who. Bruce would also like a Wonder Woman Snuggie and no questions asked. His son Damien would like a set of Ginsu Knives and XBOX Kinect for Christmas (Not from Santa, “Duh, he doesn’t exist.”). And maybe a puppy but you didn’t hear that from him.
Wonder Woman wants her old costume back. That is all.
This year Spider-Man is asking for something a little difficult to procure. I’m not sure Santa will be able to help, especially considering the...how should I say? Special circumstances? Peter wants Jameson’s mustache. There. I said it. But seeing as how Santa is a facial hair guy, I’m not sure he’ll get his wish. Peter would also like two, maybe three clones of Dan Slott in order to give the writer some much-needed rest. Spider-Girl on the other hand, would LOVE to have her powers back and 2,000 Twitter followers “kthxbai!”
Deadpool wants you to shut the hell up.
Booster Gold would like a Tauntaun Sleeping Bag and a girl dressed as Slave Leia to go with it. Maxwell Lord wants nothing from Santa Claus this year, he has everything he wants. [Insert evil, maniacal laugh here.]
For Jul, Thor asks for a less hunky actor to play him in his upcoming feature film. This Chris Hemsworth guy is making him look bad. He’d also like a blue velvet pouch to put Mjolnir in when he’s sleeping. Loki adores the actor playing him and would appreciate his own spin-off film immediately.
Larfleeze, the resident greed-fueled Orange Lantern, wants a parakeet, earmuffs, a butterknife, OxyClean, a stationary bike, Newsarama, the complete DuckTales on DVD, a dime, cheesecake, his own cable network, a birthday clown, two dozen red roses, a salamander, Alex Segura, paperclips, Barbie’s Dream House, a fishing pole, uneven parallel bars, a NY pretzel, eyeliner, a perfect pint, Cape May diamonds, duct tape, the little dog from Monopoly, a California license plate, Dr. Oz, packing peanuts...What do you think would be on your favorite heroes' lists?