Damn Dirty Skrulls: What We Know Now, 9
by Troy Brownfield and Lucas Siegel
Date: 29 July 2008 Time: 09:12 AM ET
Damn Dirty Skrulls: What We Know Now, 9
We’re being invaded! So let’s talk about it.The Mighty Avengers #16: Holy crap, Elektra’s a Skrull! Oh wait . . . Anyway, this issue skips way back down the line to fill in some gaps. Elektra hired Electro to crack open The Raft? Check. One, no two, no three Skrulls went after Elektra before she was taken down? Check. And Skrullektra drawing the wrath of the New Avengers down upon her was intentional? Okay, that’s a little surprising. I’m guessing that the plan wasn’t actually for Skrullektra (Skrull name, Pagon) to die, or was it? Was the plan to replace Elektra and then sacrifice that piece to alert the heroes in order to sow dissention? It certainly made the New Avengers think that Stark was a Skrull. Then again, maybe that particular piece of paranoia would have played with their heads more if the Mighty Avengers had quit letting them go whenever they had them cornered. The Incredible Hercules #119: Of all the Skrull betrayals, the revelation of Kirby the pup hurts the most. Because coyote puppies are cute. Especially those with cyborg enhancements. Skrullby creates confusion among the God Squad as they attempt to take the fight to Kly’bn, God of Skrulls. Snowbird is seemingly lost defending her allies in time for Kly’bn to appear. And that’s okay, because he loves you, man.
The New Avengers #43: Unlike many recent issues of the core Avengers titles, this one’s sort of happening in “real-time”, concurrent with the Secret Invasion mini. Captain America from the crashed ship confronts Spider-Man and the Marvel Legends SDCC-exclusive set of Ka-Zar, Shanna, and Zabu. The group clashes, and Cap punks Zabu twice. For a second, you wonder if it IS Cap, because if there’s a lower-powered guy in the 616 who could whip the ass of a sabretooth tiger, it’s Cap Classic. But no, a couple of well-placed native darts and Captain Skrullerica goes down frothing. Ooops. Spoke too soon. We are now officially in the Flashback Zone (one zone over from the Negative Zone, the former home of Annihilus and current home of a few regular posters). The clock turns back to Skrull World Satriani . . . wait a second, Satriani? Does it have moons named Vai, Malmsteen and Eric Johnson? Anyway, we see the now familiar ritual as Skrull Pitto Nili becomes “Cap”. We also get a motivational breakdown for the invasion by the Queen that answers a lot of questions as to the “why” of the plan. Unfortunately, the Skrull Cap doesn’t answer enough questions for Shanna, as she spears him in the throat. (Interesting note: The sound that a spear makes is Chuck. Oh boy.) Shanna gets her anger at Spider-Man, but they’re interrupted by a Six Budda salute, no doubt courtesy of a nearby Black Widow. So to wrap-up: Savage Land landing Classic Cap=now dead Skrull. Avengers: The Initiative #15: The 3-D Man plot picks up as he confides to Confirmed Skrull Crusader that they may be the only two humans left on the base. Why? Because in a panic to remain undiscovered, Crusader had messed with 3-D’s goggles, a move that in turn makes 3-D see everyone but Crusader as a Skrull. In a hurry to get out and warn others, 3-D’s craft goes down in New Mexico. For the rest of the issue, Crusader comes to the fore as we get a flashback about his origins and how he became a human sympathizer (via the usual channels: candy, movies, and women). He finds himself in the midst of the New York battle from SI #3 and winds up confronting an old comrade. After Crusader kills him in battle, he renounces his shape-changing and declares (albeit in narration) that he’s now and forever remaining in Crusader form. Thunderbolts #122: This issue finally catches up to the scene of Mar-Vell bursting into the mountain HQ we saw in Secret Invasion #1. The first part of the book does something that seems pretty Skrully to me: they bring in a supposedly cloned Andrea Strucker, but man, is my Skrulldar singing. Soon after, Mar-Vell creates a new door and beats down the T-Bolts. As you’ve seen elsewhere, Norman forestalls him with an offer of a drink and a chance to “talk about it.” And that’s pretty much that. New Warriors isn’t selling very well! Quick, add a red sky! Er… a single Super Skrull for a 2 page battle and a panel of the Skrull fleet, and we’ll call it a Secret Invasion tie-in! It’s the new hotness! Yup, that’s all that happened in New Warriors #14 that’s Skrull related. Oh, and the old New Warriors are taking on the New New Warriors, cause they think Night Thrasher is a Skrull (he’s not). Mooooving right along… X-Factor #33 kicked off a crossover, and a crossover. The team just moved to Detroit, and now they have to deal with Skrulls and She-Hulk. Darwin and Longshot have teamed up and are palling around together. Darwin is trying to get to Professor Xavier, and thought Longshot’s luck powers could get him there. X-F Investigations is hired to find the instantly-evolving lad by his father. Their paths cross, but not before She-Hulk’s partner (and Skrully daughter of Kl’rt the O.G. Super Skrull) Jazinda finds the duo. Why is she looking for them you ask? Well, hold your horses, I’m getting there! Turns out, Longshot is… drumroll please… A Skrull! As Jaz clashes with Skrull-shot (Long-skrull was too porn-y/pirate-y sounding) and She-Hulk clashes with our favorite Detroit-resident Mutants, we move directly into She-Hulk #31. Despite Monet’s pleas (and later Madrox’s) to forego the super-hero team-up cliché of fighting before realizing they have a common goal, She-Hulk decides to just duke it out a bit. As she does, readers find out the backstory behind the events of this issue. Skrull-shot is actually Nogor, a “talisman” of the gods. Essentially, in order for the Skrulls to go to war and have the blessings of the gods behind them, Nogor must be present first. Every Skrull can feel this presence, hence Jazinda’s sudden awakening in #30. Jaz also reveals to Jennifer that she’s known about the invasion for years, but didn’t think it would actually happen. She says if they can take out (or kill) the Talisman, the invasion can’t go further, as the troops will be so demoralized. Back in the present moment, She-Hulk continues to fight when she should be (and knows she should be) talking it out. She recognizes this, and likes feeling a bit more, shall we say, Savage? Anyway, as Jazinda tries to convince Darwin that Longshot’s a Skrull, he mentions casually that if Longshot WAS a Skrull, Darwin would just evolve an ability to drop the Skrull’s disguise and reveal his true nature. Which, of course, then actually happens the moment Darwin touches Nogor. With that, we pause until X-Factor #34, where the story concludes. SKRULLS! is the most obvious name for a tie-in one-shot award winner this year (congratulations, Marvel!), and is essentially a Skrull-y Handbook. As such, it doesn’t contain any information that helps the story along at all. It’s a nice introduction (and an extremely thorough one at that) to the Skrulls for new readers, or for people that just want to know more about their previous appearances. Whew! That’s a lot of Skrulls. Remember, Kly’Bn loves you, baby. Related: Damn Dirty Skrulls: What We Know Now 8 Damn Dirty Skrulls: What We Know Now 7