WORLD WAR HULKS: Ask The LEADER #1 ANSWERS
WORLD WAR HULKS: Ask The LEADER #1
Greetings, slaves-to-be. I am the Leader. I have allowed an elite segment of the population a glimpse of my current undertakings via illustrated pamphlets under the "Fall of the Hulks" and "World War Hulks" banners written by my slaves Greg Pak, Jeph Loeb, and Jeff Parker. To prepare the planet for my inevitable rule, today I begin answering your questions. Read on for my brilliant responses and free marginally liberated by my permission to post new questions thereafter.
The Leader: And I do. And so shall you. Much sooner than you realize.
RyanK: With the plastic surgery that is available today why don't you get something done!?
Leader: Your face does not yet offend me so much that I have deemed it necessary.
RyanK: Also why should i read this book?
Leader: So that you can grow to appreciate the perfection of my own flawless features.
JackCentipede: How often do you get jealous of M.O.D.O.K.'s substantially larger head? Do his little arm and leg nubbin's even work? Can he take a crap in that weird hover suit/chair thing? Do you have to help him? I would much rather have the smaller head and the green skin than look like an angry Ziggy that needs help pooping.
Deathpool: Don't listen to these plebeians, oh great and mighty Leader. They are unworthy of basking in your cranial greatness. I don't have a question, just wanted to brighten your day.
Leader: Excellent. Your obsequiousness, while disgusting, pleases me immensely. You may now "defriend" all those who have maligned me on the Facebook.
coolmvm: One question comes from your view on the Hulk's cousin the She-Hulk and how you view her powers?
coolmvm: Another comes from how did you view the Hulk's banishment to space from the heroes, those who have stopped your schemes in the past?
Leader: I rejoiced firstly at the anguish the banishment would certainly cause my hated enemy, and secondly at the terrible vengeance he would undoubtedly wreak upon the "friends" who betrayed him. How does the rabble put it? "Win-win."
mechagamera: Oh great Leader, I know all this is based on a Family Feud question about the 8 smartest people in the world, but what other smart guys who didn't make the list, like Mr. Sinister and the High Evolutionary? Are they part of your crew?
Leader: Everyone works for the Leader, whether he knows it or not. Even your insolent question is part of my plan.
mechagamera: What are you going to do when Dr. Doom escapes from you and comes for vengeance?
luckybucky: Is it a "banner" or a "storyline?" Will world War Hulks have discrete, collectible chapters (like, say, X-Men: Second Coming)?
Or is it a loose affiliation of interconnected titles following no single cohesive throughline (like, say: Dark Reign or Fall of the Hulks)?
What titles comprise the core plot? How will they be collected?
Leader: Parallel storylines will run through "Incredible Hulk" #609 to #611 and "Hulk" #22 to #24. Each half can be read alone, but to fully appreciate the brilliance of my undertakings, you should and will purchase the full run in both books.
Ace: This is the line to ask annoying fanboy questions of no significance at all about tiny minutia right? achem. When I was a kid, I had these Marvel trading cards and your fun fact said that you could control anyone you touched, and you so can't do that. Were my trading cards lying to me?
Leader: Come a little closer and I'll tell you.
Hate_Monger: Who's your favorite Muppet? I bet it's Bert--am I right?
fistofkhonshu: Which head is harder to find hats for? The big brainy one or the taller stovepipe hat one?
Leader: The bulbous head. For the longer, narrower head, I find the Canadian "took" comfortable, flexible, and warming.
nsomniac_zac: How do you put your shirt on?
Leader: Perhaps the zipper is not unfamiliar to you?
Sharpness: I was also interested on what the Leader's position is on hats... and will we see any gamma powered creations that we've thought either destroyed or forgotten?
Leader: See the last tale in the "World War Hulks" #1 one-shot.
blockclock: Why did you drop the big brain over the long elongated head again? Do you think the big forehead look is just less creepy for the ladies?
rwe1138: How many kinds of fish can you name?
Leader: All 31,500 species you know of. Plus another 1232 known only to me and my closest allies. Plus three more into which my most detested enemies will soon be genetically transformed.
dantelvl5: With all these Hulks running around and going to be running around, how is the original still unique? For years it was stated that Banner was unique is being, there was something special that allowed him to be the hulk and survive the explosion. What is the uniqueness....? What sets him apart..? what makes him still the Alpha gamma being besides being the 1st gamma being? It seems he used to have something special that allowed him to defeat you on many occasions.
Leader: You ask the Leader to argue for the uniqueness of the Hulk? The Hulk is no more unique than a two-headed turtle. Sad, aberrant, and repulsive, but worthy of little more regard than a merciful axe blow.
zurenarrh: I dropped all these hulk books out of frustration months ago. why should i get back on board?
PresidentKang: Do you polish your head regularly or is it just that shiny? Do you miss the bulging brain look? And what was life like in a jar?
Leader: The shine is natural, although I'm pleased to take the opportunity to assure you that I shower daily. Malicious canards about the supposed malodorousness of the average supervillain will not be tolerated under my regime.
greenenvy: Will we see the original she hulk live another day? Oh leader I beg with my worship to spear her life for the she hulk fans.
Leader: She, like everyone else on this planet, will live as long as I find her useful. But when the time comes, I will be very pleased to take your advice and "spear" her life.
WOLVERINE76: Why are you hell bent on ruling the world? you couldn't even defeat the hulk fer cryin out loud!!! come on!!! oh if by any chance you know the alter ego of rulk... pleaaseee tell us. thanks dork!
Leader: Requests sandwiched between insults will seldom generate the response you desire. Had I thought to calculate the impact upon everyday manners that would result, I surely would have reconsidered my using my vast intellect and undercover position at the Defense Advanced Reseach Projects Agency to create the Internets.
TravisWHoward: Greetings exalted Leader, I come before you seeking knowledge. In the past, its been chronicled that you had reverted from your gamma form back to your pre-gamma form (perhaps twice?) You've displayed an uncanny ability to control humans by touch. It's also been rumored that you had a psychic connection with Rick Jones. Did you lose these abilities over the years with transferring your consciousness between clone bodies?
TravisWHoward: Also, one scribe described a meeting between you and Banner, years back where you transcended into a higher form and had made peace with Banner. I disagreed with my friends, saying you were merely testing Banner to see if he would be worthy enough of joining your new world order. Is this true? Would you ever make peace with Banner?
Leader: Ah. "We're not so different, you and I," eh? I am sorry to disappoint you, but Banner has shown himself time and time again to be incapable of living up to the promise of his not-inconsiderable intellect. I have earned the name of the Leader, for I will always and without hesitation do what needs to be done. Banner forever remains a slave to his most embarrassing sentiments and irrational emotions. His bumbling green incarnation is merely the most obvious representation of this fundamental fact.
TravisWHoward: Finally, as I'm sure you're aware, Agamemnon and his Pantheon are rumored to still be active. Do you have any immediate plans for addressing their prior transgressions against you? Glory to the Gamma Empire!
Leader: Who's to say that everything Agamemnon, aka Vali Halfling, has ever done in relation to the Pantheon is not at my behest? That being said, I shall look forward as much as you to seeing his reappearance in the pages of "Heroic Age: Prince of Power" this Wednesday, not the least because he will apparently be plaguing the insufferable Amadeus Cho.
Captain_Terrific: How do you comb your hair? It always seems neatly styled, however your arms don't physically seem to be able to reach up there. I mean c'mon look at that melon! Did you have to come up with some kind of extension gadget or does M.O.D.O.K. float around up there with a comb or something?
Sector3600: Will the Crossroads (circa 1984) play into a backup plan if the Hulks win?
Leader: The Crossroads were originally accessed by that mockable mounteback Doctor Strange. As a man of science, I would not deign to muddle with such foolish "magicks." Nor would I ever use a "k" in that word without the appropriate scare quotes.
Sector3600: How does Skaar in Fall of the Hulks/War World Hulks fit with his story in Realm of Kings: Son of Hulk?
Leader: The slave who serves me as the Marvel comics editor Mark Paniccia informs me that the "Realm of Kings: Son of Hulk" took place while Skaar was still on Planet Sakaar. The "Fall of the Hulks" and "World War Hulks" take place after Skaar's arrival on Earth in the "Planet Skaar Prologue" and "Skaar" #10.
Leader: I am the Leader. Look at this bulbous head and imagine the size of the brain within. Now ask yourself if I would waste my efforts if I were not confronting my one true enemy?
SgtB1976: Dear Leader, what is your hat size? You have a huge green dome.
Leader: Your observational abilities stun me.
SgtB1976: Do you celebrate St. Patrick's day 365 a year?
SgtB1976: Is the coneheads your favorite movie?
SgtB1976: Do you sell advertising space on your forehead?
SgtB1976: Are you jealous of M.O.D.O.K. 's bigger headiness?
Leader: No. As hinted before, despite his devotion, he has repulsive personal habits which preclude any sense of envy.
SgtB1976: Do you like your beer foamy with a big head?
Leader: Don't think I don't see what you're doing here.
SgtB1976: Is Hector Hammond your normal complexioned alternate DC Universe twin brother from another mother?
SgtB1976: How many bandanas would it take combined to encircle the diameter of your huge green cranial dome?
Leader: Seven. Is that so very shocking? Yes? Then laugh, normal-head-person, laugh! I don't care! I don't care a whit what you think! In fact, I laugh with you! Ha ha ha! See? See how impressively full of self-confidence I am? HA HA HA HA HA!
SgtB1976: How many bottles of excedrin does it take to quell a headache suffered within your massive noggin?
Leader: I generally find that headaches come about from lack of exercise or sleep combined with dehydration. So at the first sign of cranial distress, I drink a liter of filtered tap water and take a nap.
SgtB1976: Oh yeah, almost forgot one more... When do we meet Red Leader (READER!!) and Red Doc Samson???
SonOfSatan: 1.) The tube in which the Red Hulk was exposed to the Cathexis Ray in HULK #21 looks familiar--in fact it looks just like the one MODOK put him in in INCREDIBLE HULK #600. Was your plan to have been staged earlier with the green Hulk? Or was the Red Hulk always meant to be used as he was?
Leader: The greatest plans take into account every exigency. Which, of course, is what smart planners always say.
SonOfSatan: 2.) From ALPHA, we know MODOK came up with the idea of who to transform into Red Hulk. (Aren't you jealous?) He was also the one responsible for transforming Betty Ross into the Harpy. (Doubly jealous?) Simple question: Is the Red Hulk someone those who have followed Banner's adventures would recognize? And has he been spotted, on-panel, out of shadow, in his secret identity since the Red Hulk first appeared?
SonOfSatan: 3.) At the risk of appearing insolent, the same question as #2, but referring to the Red She-Hulk.
Leader: Despite your sinister moniker, you cannot entrap one such as I in your word games. Simply read every upcoming issue of "Incredible Hulk" and "Hulk" over the next days and weeks and all your questions will be answered.
SonOfSatan: v4.) Lastly, my Leader: Do you still have the power to manipulate minds by touching a person, so long as that person is not gamma powered? Or might you have found a way around that particular hurdle? I know it had frustrated you in the past... Hail, Leader! ~G....er, SoS
Leader: "Incredible Hulk" #610 may shed a bit of light on this matter.
Leader: Indeed. You can accompany the more fan-beloved members of my cabal when they embark upon dangerous missions. Just put on this red shirt…
Beane2099: I'll bite. The process of creating a Rulk is by channeling cosmic radiation through a gamma irradiated source like a hulk via some alchemic process. But why does this process seem to elicit the same reaction regardless of who it strikes? Spider Man, for instance already has powers from a different type of radioactivity. Mutants also have different genetic codes, etc. The FF were created by Cosmic Radiation. Should there not be a different reaction to Rulkification depending on these physiological differences? Yet they all seem to get hulked out with amplified versions of their powers. Just askin'
blockclock: Dear Leader: How about creating new Gamma creatures other than the typical Hulk/She-Hulk/Abomination model? I don't want to see another OMG Thundra is green now! Or hey Spider-Hulk of the Daily green Bugle. Just new creatures that McGuiness would design.
Leader: Mr. Paul Pelletier has rendered a particularly intriguing (repulsive?) vision of that meddlesome Amadeus Cho for an upcoming issue of "Incredible Hulk" which I advise both of you not to miss.
Beane2099: Oh, yeah, your greeness, how is the hulk-out process able to affect Wolverine's adamantium claws? Cause they seemed to grow right along with Wolvie - in a major way. PS all the best to you and yours. Have a neat summer.
Leader: As you may have noted, for reasons of security, the publications that chronicle my glorious progress have been illustrated rather than photographed. And I have personally issued each of the artists involved with an official license which allows for aesthetic interpretations that most clearly convey the true power of the scenes and stories at hand. The result is, indeed, "a neat summer" for all involved.
AMSR: Dear Leader: Will Skaar become your new scientific muse?
Leader: The Son of Hulk's mix of gamma strength and Sakaarian Old Power clearly intrigues me. I'll let you know whether he's proven worthy of the interest after the vivisection is complete.
AMSR: Do you know why Betty has come back to life?
Leader: Yes. And the information will soon be available to you as well.
debasteitor: Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
MagnusBane: How soon after the Intelligencia take over do we get gamma rayed? I think it should be a worldwide blanketing myself. Since gamma ray exposure tends to lead towards ironic mutations, I think I'd end up like a gamma powered Madcap!
Leader: I'll begin to accept applications for gamma transformation approximately 90 days after my total command of Planet Earth has been secured. Please note that the informed consent process will be extensive and the release form is approximately 300 pages long.
PresidentKang: So you're gonna take over the world, right? Well, what then? Sure, we'll all be slaves for various purposes and once you kill off all your frienemies in your little supervillian club you'll be the undisputed Leader...but really, after that, whaddya got? Laughing manically for 2 hours every day? Just wringing your hands greedily? Finally having chicks that are into the giant head look? Mandatory mustache growing amongst the populace? What?! Have you really thought this plan all the way through?
Leader: Read "Incredible Hulk" #609 and glory in the beautiful world I will soon gift you.
poeticlife: leader are you a member of the hair club for men.
Leader: HA HA HA HA OF COURSE I AM HA HA HA.
Thank you for your questions, slaves. Your contributions will. Not. Be. Forgotten.Check back after reading this week's issues of HULK and INCREDIBLE HULK for a fresh Ask the Leader Question thread! And trust us, there will be questions...