Damn Dirty Zombies 5: THE KING SNAKE IS HERE TO DEVOUR YOU
Damn Dirty Zombies 5: THE KING SNAKE
Damn Dirty Zombies 5
So. I'm dead. Well, I'm not dead. But I'm dead. I'm actually lost in time (and I did it first, Steve!), thanks to Darkseid and his ridiculous sanction. But then there's that other me that was buried alongside my parents. That one's dead. Superman scanned me, so he knows I'm me, and I'm dead. Well, now that ridiculous villain of Hal's is going around licking my skull, and those black rings are flying all over the place raising our friends, foes, and families. Hnh. Dick's doing okay, but if I'd been there, these Damn Dirty Zombies would long since be gone. Ah well, the alarm is going off on the Bat-Raptor...
Solomon Grundy #7: To be completely honest, despite Blackest Night branding, there’s only one sequence that ties in to BN. And it’s at the very end of the issue. Before we get to that, let’s pause to remember our Grundy from simpler days.
So, back in the mini, after we discover the TRUE ORIGIN OF SOLOMON GRUNDY, he dies. It’s more complicated than that, but dead is dead. Mostly. The Phantom Stranger and Green Lantern Alan Scott wonder if he’s really most sincerely dead. As Alan Scott watches the sunrise out the window, he considers the fact that it’s Monday (the day upon which Grundy is traditionally reborn). True to Scott’s fears, Grundy does rise. However, this time it’s because a black ring has landed in Slaughter Swamp, and he’s risen as a Black Lantern!
AND . . . that’s it. The mini is over, though there’s a blurb to follow Grundy into the sometimes-continuity/sometimes-not Superman/Batman for two issues.
Green Lantern Corps #40: When we last saw these folks, Arisia had just been kicked off Daxam by a bunch of speciests, Sodam Yat is presumably did in the heart of their sun, Jade and a couple hundred dead green lanterns are back, or in short, the fit has hit the shan.
Arisia arrives back to Oa to see the undead Black Lantern Green Lanterns fighting the alive Green Lantern Green Lanterns before being ambushed by her parents and grandfather. They creepily suggest hugging her and eating her and we cut away to Kyle and one of his 28 dead girlfriends, Jade.
Jade does a lot to ahem, activate Kyle's emotions... and we see him feeling compassion, love, and will, though it's not exactly clear what he's trying to will to happen.
Kryb, still the scariest Sinestro Corps member, shows true love for "her children," and is allowed to go tend to them by the Sapphire chasing after the yellow-wielding child-stealing psychopath.
Salaak and a few others find what might be left of the Guardians, but is just some residual black goo from when they were attacked. The Alpha Lanterns try to stage a coup, but Salaak puts them in their place, while noting that he now leads, and Kyle and Guy are his seconds-in-command. He also stops the reissuing of rings, sending any rings without bearers to Mogo, in what surely could be a major point later.
Kyle sees through Jade's dark lens, and disintegrates her with a blast of willpower. Of course, it's not the first time her body has been disintegrated in the middle of space, and she comes back again. This time, she attacks him with constructs of his lost loves. Only four of them fit in the panel, but there were probably another couple dozen in the background.
In yet another graveyard on Oa (they need to stop keeping their dead enemies and allies right under their feet!) the executed-by-Alphas Sciencell prisoners rise up and a black lantern fly named Bzzd kicks Guy Gardner's butt for a minute, before he swats him on his ring. Unfortunately, Guy doesn't have the last laugh, as his leg is impaled by the horn of a fresh BL.
Kryb's babies are gone, and Black Lanterns attacking the infirmary on Oa confirm what many have suspected; they need to elicit an emotion out of those they attack before they consume their hearts and "emotional essence at its zenith." Before they can eat all the sick people though, GL Natu finally shows up (where the heck was she all issue?) and cuts one in half.
Blackest Night: Batman #2: This issue starts off soon after the events of GLC (about 30 kills, as shown by the quick progression in BL power level from 46.31 to 46.65) with a heart-stopping bang (pun intended), with the Legion of Dead Bat-villains tearing out and eating hearts. Dick delivers some exposition while he, Damian, and Deadman steal from the National Guard.
Batman goes through Robin's weapons training resumé, then gets served hard by Robin when he gets called out for his time as Robin. Oh, and to those who have said we mis-named this column, Robin also calls the Black Lanterns zombies. Thanks for the vindication, Damian.
Back to the police, they're getting slaughtered by the Zombie Bat Villains. I submit the following line without comment, cause I couldn't possibly make this funnier: "Not to Worry. Your pain and discomfort won't last long. The KING SNAKE is here to devour you whole."
The Gordons dive off to relative safety, while the Trigger Twins eat hearts, and mention that when emotions are up, there's a difference in that consumption. Gordon does what anyone who has seen a Zombie movie would, and uses a shotgun to take off a black lantern's head- unfortunately, as we've seen before, it just grows back, along with any other injured parts.
Batman and Robin, armed with flamethrowers, head to the roof of the police station and start torching some undead. Batman, and soon after Jim Gordon, are both shown with multiple emotions, strengthening the idea that someone could potentially control several simultaneously.
After a brief further battle and Deadman saving the Gordons, Black Lantern Blockbuster was interestingly able to tell that Dick Grayson was under the cowl as Red Robin came and saved the day. Now that Dick and Tim "Red Robin" Drake-Wayne were conveniently together (Wait, where's Damian? And Barb, and Jim? Wow, that's a big freaking plane!), both sets of their undead parents dropped into the batwing for a little family reunion that ends with a crash...right into a cemetery.
That's all we've got this time, folks. As always, some lingering questions:
Burning doesn't work, decapitation doesn't work, disintegration doesn't work; just how the heck do you kill a Black Lantern?
Is 100% the raising of the big bad, or something else?
When all this is over, will Kyle Rayner ever date again? For that matter, will Soranik Natu really have a chance of making it out of all this alive?
Where are Kryb's Babies?