We’re less than a month out from the release of <i>Captain America: Civil War</i>, and as usual for Marvel’s movies, most of the cast will receive new looks for their next outing, including Cap himself and his rival Iron Man. <p>But they’re not the only ones getting Marvelous make-overs – Scarlet Witch has a new costume, and the Vision was seen rocking an ascot in his civilian guise. <i>Civil War</i> will also bring the first cinematic costume for Black Panther, and a new big-screen look for Spider-Man. <p>Most of these have been met with positive fan reaction – particularly Black Panther and Spider-Man’s costumes. But Marvel – both on the screen, and on the page – isn’t infallible when it comes to the visual element of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. There have been a few cinematic missteps, but the real dross has been seen on the comic book page. <p>And because we’re masochists (with a sense of humor), we’ve decided to dig into the Avengers wardrobe and pick out the worst outfits worn by Avengers from every medium and era. Sorry in advance.
Sam Wilson’s career as Falcon has come with some less than stellar fashion decisions – his open to the navel romper comes to mind. But even that had a lower point than just the standard red and white version most people are familiar with. <p>We’re talking about this shockingly festive orange and green onesie Sam surely snagged from a Carnivale parade dancer. When you’re a street-level vigilante just trying to make good, I guess you take what you can get.
Now the leather jacket Avengers era has its fans - legitimately so - but strictly from a style standpoint it reminds us a little bit of high school varsity jackets. It's one thing to have a team uniform. It's another to wear the same jacket ALL the time OVER your own individual clothes, in this case superhero costumes. It just results in a muddled, half-ass, rather than "uniform" team look. <p>And not for nothing but they weren't exactly the most stylish leather jackets either. Rather than Indiana Jones-ish, it looked like they picked them up at a sale at J.C. Penney's.
Sorry, since this content is technically free we hope you understand we're not trying to rip you off here, but sometimes words are utterly superfluous. I mean Holy God can you believe it was just 20 or so years ago a whole group of people at Marvel thought this was a good idea? <p>'Nuff said.
Joss Whedon’s <I>The Avengers</I> is a really, really good movie, but if Marvel Studios could digitally redo one thing from the film, it might be Captain America’s costume. <p>Let’s put is this way, if Will Arnett’s Stranz Van Waldenberg in <I>Blades of Glory</I> paid homage to Captain America and the Avengers rather than Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, we suspect his costume would have shared some similar qualities. There was an unfortunate prancing quality to some of Cap’s action scenes during the ‘Siege or New York.’ <p>We get they were going for contemporary superhero over WWII uniforms, but given it was a one-off, replaced by the much cooler Super Soldier costume and then the original in <I>Winter Soldier</I> and then a modernized WW uniform in <I>Age of Ultron</I> and <I>Civil War</I>, we suspect Marvel recognized their own error.
Gilgamesh isn’t dressed as badly as he is just existing badly. Is there a bigger “nobody’s favorite” in Avengers history? <p>We feel kinda bad kicking old Gil when he’s down, but then there’s little matter of his super cool cow hat. We get that it’s a throwback to his mythological origins… <p>But it’s a cow hat.
Tony Stark makes you feel he’s a cool exec with a heart of steel… <p>Unless he’s wearing this godawful misstep. Iron Man is supposed to look like a hot rod, a sleek, bleeding edge technological marvel. This looks like someone forgot to put fur on the gorilla suit.
Nothing says “sex pest” like a disco collar on a white unitard – with attached undies – over a burnt umber body stocking. For a guy that’s supposed to be part of an advanced race of space weirdos… He actually kind of fits right in. <p>If there’s one positive thing about Starfox’s costume, it’s that it perfectly reflects his gross personality as the Avengers’ resident creepoid. Dollars to donuts, this guy’s room in Avengers Mansion had shag carpet and a rotating bed.
One of the most important aspects of Janet Van Dyne’s character has always been her keen fashion sense. A designer in her own right, she famously wore a new costume in every issue of <i>Avengers</i> for years. <p>Which makes the decision to give her a Brundlefly-type makeover in the mid-‘90’s all the more puzzling. Nothing says “sexy fashionista” like giant wings, antennae, and orange skin, right?
Hawkeye’s classic costume has always been something of a fan favorite, which makes the times he’s been saddled with a junky makeover all the worse. <p>Hawkeye has had a couple of duds over the years, but none worse than the hideous brown get-up he was stuck in during “Heroes Reborn” – a relaunch that was admittedly not kind to anyone. But Hawkeye’s self-described “brown Plantman” costume makes him look like a chocolate sculpture of the Avenging Archer. <p>The only thing that gives his “Heroes Reborn” look a run for its money is this hot little number. Mini-skirts were still the rage in the ‘70’s when Clint donned this circus-inspired party dress, adding, for a little while anyway, leg waxing to his daily training regimen. <p>Would Jarvis help him with that?
Captain America has one the most classic costumes in all of comic books. Which makes the decision to “x-treme” him up with this bulky, ugly armor all the more baffling. <p>Sure, every character needs an update from time to time, but why give the most iconic Avenger of all time NFL Super Pro’s leftover shoulder pads and a creepy one-eyed mask helmet thing? <p>The ‘90’s – all about “coulda,” not about “shoulda.”