<i>by George Marston, Newsarama Contributor</i> <p>Don't worry, don't worry. The Joker isn't on this list... <p>But the high-profile return of The Joker to the pages of <b>Batman</b> this week reminds us that in nearly 75 years, Batman has accumulated one of the greatest if not <i>the</i> greatest rogue's galleries in comic book history. <p>Many of his regular antagonists, like The Joker and the other nine detailed in our list of <a href=http://www.newsarama.com/comics/10-best-batman-villains-111116.html>the Ten Greatest Batman Villains of All Time</a>, are some of the most iconic characters in all of comics, appearing in film, on television, and in countless other forms of media. <p>On the other hand, some of them are the Zebra Man. <p>While this entire list could be taken up by villains like Mr. Camera, King Tut or the Blue Archer characters who appeared only once or twice, or originated outside of comics we're focusing on the ones who have appeared numerous times, and who are as widely renowned for their nonsensical gimmicks and outlandish appearance as the Joker and Two-Face are for their fearsome reputations. <p>For the other side of the equation, check out our recent "greatest villains" lists at the following links: <p><a href=http://www.newsarama.com/comics/10-greatest-x-men-villains-120207.html>The 10 Greatest X-MEN Villains of ALL TIME!</a> <p><a href=http://www.newsarama.com/comics/10-greatest-justice-league-villains-120126.html>The 10 Greatest JUSTICE LEAGUE Villains of ALL TIME!</a> <p><a href=http://www.newsarama.com/comics/10-greatest-avengers-villains-120111.html>The 10 Greatest AVENGERS Villains of ALL TIME!</a> <p><i>Got a comment? There's lots of conversation on Newsarama's <a href=http://www.facebook.com/Newsarama><b>FACEBOOK</b></a> and <a href=http://twitter.com/newsarama><b>TWITTER</b></a>!</i> <p> <p>
Meet Killer Moth, or, as he's known in some circles, "the Batman of crime." At least, if Batman were a member of the Lollipop Guild. <p>After a string of embarrassing attempts at criminality, Drury Walker, also known as Cameron van Cleer, realized that enough was enough, and decided to become to crime what Batman is to justice: a figurehead and supernatural force that left no jewelry store un-robbed. <p>Following in Batman's footsteps, Walker decided to become the night, and since superheroes are a superstitious and cowardly lot, he chose the one image that he knew would strike fear into their hearts: a Lisa Frank Butterfly costume. Unfortunately, girls love Lisa Frank, and Killer Moth got his pastel butt kicked by Batgirl on his first night out. Over the years, Killer Moth has tried to reinvent himself again and again, even once making a deal with devil-like character Neron, to become an actual giant moth named Charaxes. Somehow, not even that could make him cool.
Arthur Brown was a failed game show host who, in desperation, turned to a life of crime to support his family. He had a great idea too he would commit crimes, and, unlike the smart bank robbers who almost never get their spines separated by Batman, he would wear a really great orange costume, and leave behind clues to his next target, matching wits with the Dark Knight Detective at every turn. What a great gimmick, right? Clearly, there was no one else in Gotham doing anything like that. <p>Thankfully, after years of having to explain to his victims that, no, he's <i>not</i> The Riddler, Cluemaster was killed on a mission with the Suicide Squad. Maybe his only redeeming quality is that his daughter grew up to be fan favorite former Robin, Batgirl, and current unknown Stephanie Brown, though most people (including Stephanie) would probably be more likely to thank Chuck Dixon for that.
The living embodiment of an Avril Lavigne t-shirt, Anarky was a teen-aged whiz-kid who was so into radical philosophy that he spent all his time studying, graduated early, and went straight into politics, running for mayor of wait, no, never mind. He put on a red sheet and a witch hat and decided to fight crime the anarchist way, which, really, should be no way at all. <p>In any case, since he was 12, he wore a "neck extender" to make himself look older, and a gold mask to make himself look ridiculous. Eventually, Anarky actually got his own book, proving that bad decisions are timeless. After it was inevitably cancelled, he spent some time in obscurity before returning to fight Robin as "the Moneyspider."
Though Batman has a history with <i>Alice in Wonderland</i>-themed villains most famously Mad Hatter Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum still manage to make the concept seem like a hallucinatory practical joke. <p>These two were originally known as Dumfree and Deever Tweed, two rotund cousins who happen to look exactly alike, and thus decided to commit crimes or something. Incidentally, Dumfree actually <i>had a twin brother who was not originally part of the gang</i>, whose name was the equally astounding "Dumpson." That list bit was actually a retcon meant to explain how there were still two of them when Dumfree had been killed. The biggest surprise is that these characters have actually been used enough to require a retcon.
Another nursery rhyme-themed villain, this one a latter-day creation, Humpty Dumpty is, perhaps more than anything, a victim of circumstance. <p>Born under the name "Humphrey Dumpler," this mentally handicapped man developed an obsession with assembling and fixing things that culminated in a string of murders wherein he attempted to take people apart and you guessed it put them back together again. Unfortunately, when someone is dead, not even all the king's horses... you get the idea. How many coincidences does this poor man have to endure as part of his backstory? Next up, a guy named Howland Wolfe who comes down with a case of lycanthropy.
Though his name and appearance were recently revived during <i>Flashpoint</i>, the real Outsider is almost like a half-remembered fever dream. The kind of thing that you might of heard happened in a comic, but you've never seen any actual evidence. <p>The Outsider was actually the reanimated corpse of Alfred Pennyworth, who had died while pushing Batman and Robin out of the way of a falling boulder. After being revived by science, he developed psychic powers which he, along with his allies the Grasshopper Gang (not a joke), and a criminally subverted Batmobile (also not a joke) attempted to use to kill the Dynamic Duo. Please don't tell Grant Morrison about this guy.
Dr. Simon Ecks was a scientist who discovered that human "auras" can be separated from the physical form to act on their own. After undergoing the process himself, Dr.Ecks's own energy doppelganger, whom he named "Dr. Double X" (get it?), embarked on a life of crime, clashing with Batman over and over. <p>Oddly, the energy duplicate was so powerful that Batman often had to call in super-powered help to defeat it. Despite his considerable powers, Dr. Double X is still the ghost of an overweight weirdo with a fin on his head and a pun for a name, so there's still justice in the world.
Crazy Quilt was a former painter who used his paintings to leave clues for his criminal henchmen in his paintings to instruct them on what target they were to steal next, which is, by far, the least efficient way to give orders of all time. "I guess the boss wants us to steal a... What is that? A purple duck?" <p>After meeting defeat numerous times at the hands of the Boy Commandos, Quilt decided that his only recourse was to move to Gotham City, where everyone knows there are no young crime fighters by whom to be bested. After setting up shop in Joel Schumacher's dream home complete with a mood amplifying "Color Dome," and a musical "Color Organ" which allowed him to alter people's minds Quilt went on to basically do nothing but get beaten up by kids, like Robin and Batgirl.
Ten-Eyed Man was possibly the only supervillain in history who could have been defeated by a high-five. After losing his sight in an accident, Vietnam veteran and warehouse security guard Phillip Reardon underwent an experimental procedure that grafted his optic nerves to his fingertips. <p>This of course qualified him to fight Batman, at least according to the mobster who convinced him that Batman was to blame for his accident. After several defeats at Batman's hands, Ten-Eyed Man decided to lure Batman to Vietnam, where Batman guaranteed that any part of him that didn't already have PTSD before their encounter certainly did afterwards. Ten-Eyed Man was killed in his final battle "Ten-Eyed Man vs. the falling building" in <i>Crisis on Infinite Earths</i>.
So many jokes have been made about Kite Man that, at this point, it's almost funnier to just tell his straightforward story. <p>Charles "Chuck" Brown was a man who loved kites almost as much as he loved crime. Equipping himself with an arsenal of "trick kites," such as a jet-powered kite (probably no longer technically a "kite"), a flash-bulb kite, and a net-trap kite, he dubbed himself the Kite Man and went on a crime spree that only ended when Batman also employed several trick kites of his own design to take to the skies and capture the criminal mastermind. <p>Other than the fact that he shares a name with noted kite-deficient <i>Peanuts</i> protagnoist Charlie Brown, the thing that really makes Kite Man the lamest Batman villain ever is that his lameness was so contagious that he actually convinced Batman to resort to also using kites as weapons, and isn't that the real crime?