The Marvel Universe's 10 WORST Summer Vacation Spots

<i>By <a href=http://www.twitter.com/graemem>Graeme McMillan, Newsarama Contributor</a></i> <p>Summer is almost here, and despite what Martha or her Vandellas might want you to believe, the time is more right for taking a break from it all than it is for dancing in the streets (seriously, it's too hot for such physical activity). <p>But while we in the real world can travel to all manner of enjoyable, beautiful getaway destinations, pity the denizens of the Marvel Universe: While their everyday existence is likely to be interrupted by that week's alien invasion, supervillain attack or natural disaster, it's not as if the rest of the world is that much safer. Consider these following vacation destinations with the relief that comes from knowing that you can only visit from the relative safety of the comic page. <p><i>Got a comment? There's lots of conversation on Newsarama's <a href=http://www.facebook.com/Newsarama><b>FACEBOOK</b></a> and <a href=http://twitter.com/newsarama><b>TWITTER</b></a>!</i> <p> <p>

TRANSIA/WUNDAGORE

<b>Pros:</b> Enjoy the beautiful scenery of Mount Wundagore, pride of the Eastern European country of Transia! Marvel at the wonders of nature (and scientifically enhanced quasi-nature) and learn about the wide variety of animals that you had no idea about. <p><b>Cons</b>: Tourists are warned that the mountain may be home to the spirit of the demonic Chthon, as well as home to the genetic engineer the High Evolutionary. Both of those things may increase the likelihood not only of superhuman tussles ruining your break, but also meeting men with cow heads instead of regular heads.

WAKANDA

<b>Pros:</b> Wakanda! The most scientifically advanced nation in Africa, and home to many long-lived local traditions, giving visitors a unique insight into a culture very different and (in a not-at-all-patronizing-whatsoever-way) more noble than their own! <p><b>Cons</b>: Yes, Wakanda may be home to some of the most advanced minds on the planet, but inexplicably much of the local culture seems trapped in a 1960s White Imperialist idea of what an African nation should be like. More worryingly, the country is repeatedly the subject of either forceful regime change or invasion, and in the brief moments when that is not the case, travelers may want to beware of the local religious cults based around Apes, Lions and Crocodiles.

ATTILAN

<b>Pros:</b> One of the oldest cities in the world, Attilan boasts the remnants of cultures thought lost to human experience, as well as the rare chance to interact with the "Inhumans," a race of beings just like us but for their strange powers and unfortunate fashion sense. <p><b>Cons</b>: Sadly, the mobile nature of the city means that tourists are recommended to make their stays as short as possible, as it is possible that you may enter via the Himalayas onto to discover, upon exit, that the city now exists on the moon. Additionally, some of the Inhumans can be somewhat off-putting to those unfamiliar with the fantastic, especially those allergic to giant dogs that can teleport.

K'UN L'UN

<b>Pros:</b> Once called the "jewel of the orient," the self-proclaimed "mystical city of K'Un L'Un" is a holiday destination unlike any other, with a whole host of activities based around quiet meditation and intense physical activity that is greatly helped if one happens to have a spirit animal or two. Lose weight and gain piece of mind <em>that's</em> a two-for-one deal that's hard to say no to. <p><b>Cons</b>: Unless one has a connection to a friend with magical abilities, K'Un L'Un can prove surprisingly difficult to reach for most travelers, considering its tendency to disappear from the world for decades at a time. It is also worth pointing out that the city was founded by, and remains filled with, an inter-dimensional plant race called the H'ylthri that can grow clones of humans with disturbing ease, so if visiting, make sure not to upset your hosts.

GENOSHA

<b>Pros:</b> If solitude is what you're seeking, then Genosha is the location for you! Imagine an entire island almost entirely devoid of other people with prime hiking real estate for you to investigate and claim for yourself. Doesn't that sound like your own personal paradise? <p><b>Cons</b>: It's possible that the island is radioactive. If visiting, remember to bring your anti-radiation kits just in case, and while packing, it's possibly worth considering bringing some kind of weaponry to defend yourself in case marauding bands of mutants declare you a "flatscan" whose kind was responsible for the partial destruction of their entire race.

THE SAVAGE LAND

<b>Pros:</b> For those hoping to return to nature, there are few places more ideal than the Savage Land, a hidden oasis (literally) right in the heart of Antarctica. Imagine the tropical lure of a Hawaii that hasn't been overrun by television crews looking to pretend that they're in the rain forest or a rain forest without the rain. Could anyone resist? <p><b>Cons</b>: There are dinosaurs. And cavemen, kinda. Oh, and every now and again, superheroes show up to fight, and it's possible that someone may try and destroy the entire place during your stay. But other than that, it's great.

MADRIPOOR

<b>Pros:</b> Admit it: Sometimes, you've found yourself watching <em>Casablanca</em> and thought, "I wish there were still places like that only more dangerous and with far, far more institutionalized corruption than I could even think possible." Guess what? There <em>is</em> and you could visit! <p><b>Cons</b>: Apparently, you may have missed the part about the danger and the institutionalized corruption. Worth noting, too, that this is another locale famous for the speedy turn-over in political regimes, almost every single one of which will be revealed to be connected in some way to organized crime. Which is to say, carry your passport with you at all times, but not in any obvious (or easily accessed) location.

MONSTER ISLE

<b>Pros:</b> Wildlife enthusiasts, rejoice: The rarest of all life on Earth can be found in one place that's as far away as your next private plane ride Monster Isle! If you've ever dreamt of life in a living nature documentary filled with creatures you're unlikely to see in New York City (unless the Mole Man is attacking again), then this is the trip for you. <p><b>Cons</b>: The fact that the island's entire population is a monster of some form or another means that concessions, restaurants and other familiar amenities are near-impossible to come by, and also that the only recognizable form of currency is probably human blood.

KRAKOA

<b>Pros:</b> Some people say "living island" like it's a bad thing, but to them, I like to say "All islands are living, if you really think about all the organisms, microorganisms and probably nano-organisms they contain, so what's your problem, Jack?" Krakoa is just like all of those other islands... except this one has a <em>brain</em>. <p><b>Cons</b>: Admittedly, most islands don't have a brain, and those that do probably shouldn't have them as the result of mutations brought on by nuclear tests decades earlier. Oh, is vacationing on a thinking radioactive island that may try to kill you a problem? If so, then this may be one stop you wish to avoid.

LATVERIA

<b>Pros:</b> Possibly the pride of Europe as long as you forget places like Paris, Rome, Barcelona, Stockholm and those other cultural capitals, Latveria has everything you'd expect from an authentically rustic Eastern European country whose capital has the inviting name of Doomstadt: Men in shorts, women with names like Helga and robot police who will kill you if you say anything against the country's dictator. <p><b>Cons</b>: Where to start? There's the dictator thing, the robot police thing, the fact that inhabitants are downtrodden and seemingly stuck in the 19th century or the fact that the main cities in the country (besides Doomstadt) are Doomsburg, Doomsdale, Doomsvale, Doomton and Doomwood. Or what about the fact that its ruler Doctor Victor Von Doom seemingly never spends any time there other than when he's hiding out after getting beaten by the Fantastic Four, Avengers or whoever else is defending America, therefore not even being good at being a dictator? Despite the good if broken hearts of its inhabitants, there's no denying this simple truth: Latveria <em>sucks</em>. You'll have more fun going to work like you do everyday.

The Marvel Universe's 10 WORST Summer Vacation Spots

Date: 17 May 2012 Time: 08:08 PM ET